I love dogs, most people do I guess. We feel being trusted and needed around them,. When they are looking at you, you know that you are everything in their eyes right now. When they shake their tails by the time you walk into the door, you know they are happy to see you and they truly are.

Hey you my dear dear friends, you didn’t hear me wrong. That was what I said. I am not choosing to ruin my own life; I did not choose to go down that path. I think this is me, this is what I want. Please be supportive and please believe that I know what I am doing. If you never glow, you will never shine. I know it’s risky, but it’s the risk that am willing to take, even though it might hurt me in the end.

I don’t know if you ever felt bad at all when you lied to me. I am sorry but I do mind. I don’t think that's what a nice person should would or could do.

And you… sweet boy. I am sorry; I didn’t want you to get hurt, at least nt from me. . Nobody deserves to be hurt like that, especially you. I will never forgive myself if I am going to be the one who hurts you in that way. I truly hope that maybe one day you will understand and even agree with the decision I made today. I am sorry I cannot be with you, but it doesn’t make you any less important than any other people that I love dearly in my life. I have faith in you and care about you so much; I wish you life time happiness and find your soul mate. Please, please look after yourself. Hopefully someday you will be able to ring me up and say” hi Yang, how are you?” I would really love that. Everything we had, I will put it all in a box, and leave it in a corner of my heart. Please remember the good times we had and move on. I will have a big smile on my face next time I think of you, because… why not? Thank you so much my sweet heart, and I am terribly sorry for the things I am nt able to do or continue to do....The last thing… I wrote this one week ago but PLEASE…. Do it for me…let us just leave it like this.”We are different, but thank you... I wish you happiness and find the peace inside of you”

There are so many changes in my life right now; I find it’s a bit hard to cope. I still wake up one day and feel my heart is being teared apart again and I do not want to see anyone.

I’m not doing anything wrong, I am not. I don’t feel any shame; I refuse to be punished like silents of the lambs. Not by you.

I rang grandma the other day, she cried on the other side of the line, the other side of the world. I am so sorry. I felt my heart was being twisted and I could hardly breathe. I love grandma and miss her. I always tell ppl with pride and smile that I have a great family; I will do absolutely anything for them. I own them.

If you really miss me, just close your eyes, I am there. Turn your music on; I will be playing Sarah Brightman’s “Scarborough Fair” on my piano. Open a book, I will be reading “When we are old and gray” in front of wood fire. Sit in the sun; I will be taking a nap right next to you. Feel the grass as you touched my hands; take a sniff of the soil as you smelled my hair. Enjoy the every minette under the sun.

Can you hear that birds are singing in the sky, that’s where you will find me. Have you ever seen little children chasing each other; little dogs chasing them on grass, that’s where you will find me. Now that the spring is in the air; see that the flowers are everywhere, that’s where you will find me. Next time you cook, you will remember me; next time you order a cock tail you will remember me. If you miss me, please close your eyes, smile, I am there.